No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
