Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
