Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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