There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
