So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
