i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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