sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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