the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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