I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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