There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
