She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
