weddingsv make me drug and hornr
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
