how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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