I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
