apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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