he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
