I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
