Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
