worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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