Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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