I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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