I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
