is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
there's paper in my vomit.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
