so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize