Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
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Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.