Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.

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  (716): Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike. http://tfl.nu/hlna
  Replies (49) Good night (888) Bad night (5556)
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  (310): View more from California

  He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what

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  (310): He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what http://tfl.nu/hk6f
  Replies (18) Good night (898) Bad night (3651)
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  (818): View more from California

  I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.

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  (818): I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch. http://tfl.nu/o7me
  Replies (19) Good night (7072) Bad night (952)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.

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  (404): My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/ev36
  Replies (9) Good night (1525) Bad night (3633)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin

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  (206): i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin http://tfl.nu/oy4z
  Replies (19) Good night (1270) Bad night (4561)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3

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  (813): So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3 http://tfl.nu/7or4
  Replies (4) Good night (4654) Bad night (1251)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.

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  (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real. http://tfl.nu/3nu3
  Replies (32) Good night (2470) Bad night (6650)
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  (518): View more from New York

  The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.

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  (518): The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession. http://tfl.nu/a7rm
  Replies (18) Good night (1503) Bad night (3822)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over

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  (443): We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over http://tfl.nu/j0uq
  Replies (5) Good night (1916) Bad night (770)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  This is going everywhere on the internet.

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  (505): TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES (1-505): This is going everywhere on the internet. http://tfl.nu/lcfu
  Replies (8) Good night (3244) Bad night (1026)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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  (816): i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino http://tfl.nu/4r5s
  Replies (9) Good night (1974) Bad night (978)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?

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  (603): Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support? http://tfl.nu/jl5q
  Replies (7) Good night (717) Bad night (1821)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language

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  (580): My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language http://tfl.nu/nvb4
  Replies (4) Good night (1829) Bad night (710)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  Do you have any forwarding contact info?

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  (804): Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface? (1-804): Do you have any forwarding contact info? http://tfl.nu/ibaz
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (357)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.

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  (703): He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3aao
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (732)

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