Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!

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  (617): Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out! http://tfl.nu/knp1
  Replies (3) Good night (709) Bad night (791)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.

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  (404): Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/rur7
  Replies (17) Good night (4556) Bad night (867)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

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  (507): All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon http://tfl.nu/xv5b
  Replies (12) Good night (1977) Bad night (2557)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it

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  (516): i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it http://tfl.nu/hj6c
  Replies (13) Good night (2944) Bad night (1065)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you

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  (214): If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you http://tfl.nu/i2kd
  Replies (7) Good night (1228) Bad night (1904)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

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  (519): Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it. http://tfl.nu/tzzv
  Replies (30) Good night (3314) Bad night (797)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Lolll I'll be sleeping

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.

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  (905): I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though (289): Lolll I'll be sleeping (905): I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town. http://tfl.nu/s1jf
  Replies (2) Good night (2108) Bad night (675)
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  (661): View more from California

  He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!

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  (661): He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth! http://tfl.nu/q4tp
  Replies (23) Good night (2491) Bad night (1276)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.

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  (229): He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb. http://tfl.nu/1qwr
  Replies (5) Good night (2038) Bad night (660)
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  (516): View more from New York

  When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.

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  (516): When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners. http://tfl.nu/d16h
  Replies (1) Good night (1511) Bad night (556)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants

  (812): View more from Indiana

  That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.

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  (317): You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants (812): That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub. http://tfl.nu/6wmx
  Replies (2) Good night (1162) Bad night (470)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.

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  (336): No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine. http://tfl.nu/r6ac
  Replies (1) Good night (287) Bad night (451)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...

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  (44): Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms... http://tfl.nu/mf8r
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (256)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.

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  (720): Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going. http://tfl.nu/q6rk
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (351)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects

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  (425): You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects http://tfl.nu/xrwr
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (235)

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