I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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