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We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Randomize
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