it wasn't lemon gatorade
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.