if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
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You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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