It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize