when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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