She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
