You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
