Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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