Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
