I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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