so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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