community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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