i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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