her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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