before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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