When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
