I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
