Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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