If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
