Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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