Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Will exercising make me less horny?
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