at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Randomize