I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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