we're blogging at a bar
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
