My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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