i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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