yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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