She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize