two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
