what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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