there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
