apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
