I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
where am i from again
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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