there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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