You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
