It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
